| the only stars id follow home are the ones that shine in your eyes |
[12 Aug 2010|11:30pm] |
i have wasted waay too much time sitting here trying to think of something deep or meaningful i could say but i think that is going to have to wait until my next update and just talk about stuff that has been going on for now. i dunno its weird how hard it has become to open myself up anymore. not even sure if anything i have to say would even be worth reading. kind of weird. anyways, stuff thats been going on- fresh back to los angeles after spending a week and a half in new york while finishing up some black cards stuff... wrapping up the album and even doing a photoshoot, not to mention the first black cards show ever was tuesday and it went a lot better than i thought it would. i have a lot of confidence in the songs and the band but i dont think i can even describe to you the amount of nerves i had in my stomach over it and how sweaty my palms were. wasnt really sure how the audience would react- if people were gonna be expecting fall out boy or what. plus it had been so long since i had really been out on stage i was hoping i wasnt rusty. and again the usual debate of "black cards or fob" has come up- i cant even compare the two. dont even sound alike and honestly nothing will ever replace what fob means to me or even touch it. i never see bands as a competition. i dont see why it has to be one person vs the next. why does it have to be christina aguilera vs lady gaga, or plus 44 vs angels and airwaves. you can like more than one band. the only time i can see it being a problem is if the two bands are playing the same night in the same city, otherwise why do you have to pick? why cant you like both?
anyways so honestly the first show for black cards went great- really warm reception. most of cobra made it out and i was happy to see ash did too even though she didnt have to and i was really surprised to see she made it. like i said i was pretty much all nerves so it was pretty amazing to me that some of my close friends and family were there to see the show and support me. ive always been the type of guy to need and appreciate that stuff and remember it. still cant believe how far weve come over the past year or so- where it went from this far fetched idea to a reality on stage. as much as i love fall out boy i am glad i get this chance to explore a whole other side to music that ive been wanting to. its like patrick with his solo album and joe and andy with the damned things. its stuff we couldnt put out as a group or as fall out boy- but it doesnt mean we are done writing music together for good. maybe once we get what we want to do as individuals out of our systems we can work as a unit again a lot easier. but enough on black cards for now so i will wrap it up with this- if you havent been able to check out any of the music yet but want to you can do so here, and no 'dirty little fingerprints' is not a new song, it's 'beating in my chest' renamed. all i can ask is give it a shot and if it isnt something you like thats cool too.
its just weird this whole growing up thing. ever since bronx came into my life i feel like i pretty much have become a new person. not in the sellout way or the way that makes me have about 50 "fuck yous" on my @reply page. but just that im like above the petty stuff. no i havent become invincible and a lot of dumb stuff gets to me- but it has made me a better person having a son and someone who actually directly is affected by whatever i do and say. ive really cleaned up my act and i think twice before i do anything anymore. who i let in my life and have around him. instead of blurting out comments and calling people out i bite my tongue. i watch my temper and i dont have the urge to punch my fists through windows or walls because i dont want my son to grow up around that. things just dont get to me under my skin anymore like they used to. plus ive learned that if someone doesnt care when youre calm and rational- they wont care when youre angry and blowing up. like i would say i am too old to get into the drama and headgames stuff anyway but i dunno if anyone at any age really likes em. i know years ago i didnt like them but i put up with them from girlfriends more and struggled with them hoping when it was done she would have made up her mind and wanted to be with me. watching it go on around me now makes me feel so detached. girls that will forever be making up their face but not their mind. after a while you just accept this and shrug it off- even though you hate seeing it happen to your finds now. cant act like the innocent party- i know that i also wasnt the easiest dude to be with and still probably am not today. the only thing is i actually want to work on changing and being better every day- admitting my flaws and working on them.
uh anything else to randomly throw in since this whole update is a jumble and feels a little incomplete. that is what i get for waiting for the last minute tho. oh- i havent mentioned shoes in a while so let me link you all to this little article i came across. jayz is gonna have his own line of nike shoes? awesome. also its kinda interesting to come across things like this and get to see how the old clan store is doing and what is taking over it. to be honest with how the economy is going i was kinda worried about the jobs people would lose with the store closing but this makes me feel better about it. i hope the salon continues to do well and next time im in chicago ill prob stop by and check it out. next update is hopefully going to be a lot less last minute and a lot more interesting. but then again i am posting this at night and maybe it will help someone catch some zzzs.
and finally- to close this out for william beckett:
( twitter witter. laugh at a little of what i must see in my @replies each day )
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| instead of calling this an update it should be a downdate or something. |
[21 Mar 2010|08:23pm] |
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like this update is going to be kind of a lame one because i dont even know what to say, it snuck up on me. i was getting pretty used to updating when i felt like it and then i got to be kinda lazy about it. i half thought about posting a survey or something but i will do another one of those soon. life has been pretty good for me. (major sap warning ahead: continue with caution) i spend time with my wife and my son and im actually happy for once with where i am and who i am there with. most of my friends know that is saying a lot because ive been through so many let downs with relationships. its kind of amazing knowing youve found someone who actually gets you and wants to be there with you. kind of weird how she feels molded just for me. will touch on this more later.
i should probably touch on sxsw and why i didnt get to see patricks set. its still kinda a bummer to me tbh. i just didnt want people to be like "oh hes there for the attention" or "lets make this about pete wentz instead" so instead i get to watch a crappy, blurry version on youtube. its worth it though to avoid a shizstorm the media would probably love to create and the attention is on patrick and his music where it should be. not at all on me or fall out boy. this is his dream and his thing. see when i put clandestine together the guys didnt tell me not to or try to stand in my way- they didnt stop me from working on decaydance or buying into ak47. they were there for me and supportive. and while its not entirely the same thing, i look at it from that standpoint.
also incase i dont update again to mention it: http://www.tapproject.org/ i dont like to push stuff on people but donating even one buck goes a long way.
oh and ps- i thought about making a new friends only but this was too large for it.
( some wtfs for the week... )
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| i am just updating to make it look like taylor lautners journal has been updated less |
[08 Mar 2010|07:11pm] |
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mood |
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unemployed |
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music |
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opportunity knocking and me not answering anymore unless its brad pitt |
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just kidding sorry tl. see its just i am secretly jealous i cant put up the girlfriend survey. i think if i did post it ashlee would fill it out a few different times in different accents. truth is i am actually kind of bored and lately it has been time for me to update when i dont want to so i might as well try to get one out now. march 6th was a big day for me... i shaved off my own beard after about 30 minutes of figuring out how to trim it and talking about how brad pitt it was. it was so long i had to take scissors to it at first. yeah. so uh how many of the 2000 people that tuned in to watch me shave off my beard were any of you guys? none? i figured. i dont blame you. i probably would only watch brad pitt shave off his beard and it would mostly be to compare notes to how i shaved off mine. it was pretty weird tho, i was calling some of my friends and hearing them be all "yeah i know im watching".
i am still a little confused by the numbers and the turn out. it took forever to get to 2000, but we finally made it. i wonder if i should be honored 2000 people tuned in to watch me lose my beard or if i should have expected a bigger turn out. i dunno. the wife was there being her loud uh cute self and popping her head into the camera, blurting things out like everyone should ask the lead singer of my band why fall out boy broke up instead of us. yeah awkward. but i love her. and thats the fun about live ustreaming and ashlee simpson-wentz...you never know what is going to be said. ever. anyways she kept talking in an accept tho i wonder if anyone even understood her or took her seriously. just so you know that is her normal texas accented voice she was born with.
if you missed out you also missed me fangirling over mark hoppus (nothing new) and asking him "what he really thought about me" in my best insecure voice (not acting- i was for real insecure there) and flashing ryland of cobra starship (and most of cobra's) phone number that is saved on my phone at the webcam. this may or may not be why the videos are private and pulled offline. that and what all ashlee was saying. u missed it- she was telling me not to cuss then called someone a fuckwad for saying i look like a molester. thats my girl. but she didnt get offended when people said i look like a mexican. me neither. brad pitt was in a movie called the mexican... dreamysigh. we have so much in common guys for real. endless things in common.
anyways here is a hard to read paragraph of some random thoughts: hey this update had no real point. what am i going to watch when lost is off the air after this final season? and does anyone watch flash forward? im trying to catch up on the show before it starts up again march 18th. with the way i am promoting the show youd think i would be a guest star on it but until its on the cw dont hold your breath. nobody else takes my "acting" (how do you act when you are cast to play yourself anyways) or fading relevancy seriously. i dont know if its going to suck or just drop off the air anyways- that is the real downside to getting into a new tv show. i guess i should pick a spot and split this sucker up so heres as good a place as any...
whats the best movie youve seen lately? i wanna besides alice in wonderland probably daybreakers. it was refreshing to actually see a vampire movie that didnt stray too far from you know... vampires or whatever. they actually catch on fire in the sun!! yes that merits two exclamation points. i was won over on that alone- but plus they take this real approach to the world like how it would be if it was ran mostly by vampires- like how cars would have uv warnings and shiz. pretty awesome. i recommend it even if the plot is mildly predictable. uhh what else. alex suarez being idle and asleep at 6pm is weird. does not compute even tho its technically cos hes in japan. oh and theres gonna be some new clandestine clothing coming out and i have an interview wednesday with the hiring manager at subway and one thursday with mcdonalds just during the morning for mcgriddles. shhhh- thats the real reason i shaved. if i dont get the a.m. shift ill quit tho. or at least be rumored to. two! two pink slips! ah ah ah. xo pete
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| in other news, wtf. thatll teach me to typo |
[28 Jan 2010|09:23pm] |
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day one. i gave you a piece of me and now that you left with it there is no way to get it back. i just have to deal with the fact that its gone now. easier said than done. maybe in the long run ill end up stronger without it.
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| time to get that v for vendetta mask back out... |
[21 Dec 2009|05:27pm] |
this update is going to be so pointless but nothing can keep me from the internets. especially face deformity that is actually going to make me hide behind my screen more often. (yeah yeah, if its even possible for me to be on the internet more often.) go here or here if you have no idea what i am talking about. i owe gabe my life or at least that tattoo that is already on my leg. i am lucky for the friends i have in general, but i knew that already. this was just a nice reminder. thanks to everyone for the messages ive gotten checking in on me and making sure im still alive and in one piece (kind of). then theres patrick who keeps asking me to put an ice mask on my face but i think he just wants me to hide the ugly behind it so i am easier to look at. just kidding hes actually being way supportive and making sure i dont do too much right now- and since i kinda dont have a band right now there isnt a lot i can do anyways. so thanks dude for distributing my vicodin and antibiotics and stuff so i dont over do it. i mean i dont think i would, but i am bad at keeping track of time and i might take a dose too soon or forget one for a few hours longer than i should have waited.
so much is going through my mind right now. like i figure at the worst i can grow my hair out again and use my bangs to cover my face like i used to if there is any scarring. and when i have to dj on new years eve i can just wear some 2010 glasses. or not, but they are practical for me. though, they are covering my good eye. crud. but anyways, why couldnt my face get deformed right before halloween? then i would have an excuse to wear a mask. now i cant even wiggle my nose and make shiz appear out of nowhere anymore. oh and try to save the tiger woods jokes for a few days and tell me them later: it kind of hurts to laugh sometimes which sucks cos friends keep setting me up for "thats what she said" jokes. i.e.:
friend: you just need one to bring swelling down
jim halpetert: thats what she said
oh man thats rich. anyways i swear you can literally google anything. ie, "songs about faces", and this page comes up:
( image this was a mix tape, john i am looking at you. make me a mixed tape based on faces pls )
no room for billy idol?? who doesnt make room for billy idol. whatever. all those songs are like old and most i havent even heard of. but what about pokerface? i look like someone poked my face. with a knife. that list has to be way old cos how can you pass up an opportunity to include lady gaga in anything? and thats just titles, but then you have songs like all american rejects that talk about faces, like "when you see my face hope it gives you hell", that one would go on there. that song fits cos i think my face is gonna give a lot of people hell. (insert joke about how it already did before here, i know) but for real. i kinda wanna make a mix that will make me laugh at this situation even more but it kind of hurts to laugh right now. posting this for now, feel free to throw your own jokes at my expense my way, xo pete
ps ( thanks for humoring me pat )
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| liveearth.org. |
[14 Oct 2009|01:09am] |
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have your thoughts or lips ever stumbled over words you cant even grab a hold of and try to formulate into a small paragraph to describe how you are feeling? actions come to mind and go like the expiration date on news, but words remain absent on sick leave. maybe you are just actually rendered speechless or too shocked to regurgitate anything you already said before on a new situation. the universe must have meant for this 13th to have landed on a friday but in the salt and pepper shaker way the world has of flipping you upside down and surprising you with the outcome (either the perfect amount of seasoning or making life unstomachable), it ended up a tuesday. weirdbeard. tell me a story about a day that went well recently, i havent had any of my own that werent monsters dressing up as candy for halloween. swallowed every one of them and still kept that empty feeling in my stomach, wondering why i never felt satisfied. the wasted weeks and months find a way to flash by blinded eyes, until all thats left behind is dust that has settled around the shape where every important thing used to be. that is about where i am right now. this day has been pretty overwhelming for me, and eye opening too. with blood thirsty thoughts of redemption that buzz like mosquitos on a july summer night, i am battling the simple war morals and ethics- both of which from a market nobody invests in anymore thats about to crash. still i overcompensate and buy in with wide eyes and a heavy heart, as if trying to make up for the stock you sold. its fun to think that at one point we are all good people that either go bad or go to waste. there is no in between. you either are or you aren't. "id like attention" misheard as or misunderstood for "id like a tension". drop the bomb on dropping the thoughts that tie down insecurities that want set off to sea yet remain docked at bay. keep them under your palm like an enemy you wouldn't even lay next to for warmth during a blizzard. save them for a (b)rainy day, let them out to rip apart stupidity in the form of the words "i still want" followed by anything like hungry pit bulls starved for flesh. i think you can relate to that, but mostly the starved for flesh part. nasty boys. sitting out on the cold balcony it all makes sense. so many things i overlooked, like how you add up your self worth anywhere from how many wrinkles from the last body are still in the sheets, to how much longer it takes to replace them with new ones from someone else. be a politician, lie and sneak your way to the top of something that matters, not a random body. your identity kept secret, the only way to stay out of the spotlight is to hide in the dark. im done under covers, and glad i never got caught between yours. recycling your paper hearts and saving your waters by not showering often, this is coming someone that is tired of going to waste and watching the world close around him get wasted (both with beer and with promises), xo pete.
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